Fun at Coffee Table

Coffee Jokes

Why Coffee Is Better Than Men

A cup of coffee looks good in the morning. You won’t fall asleep after a cup of coffee. You can always warm coffee up. Coffee comes with endless refills. You won’t get arrested for ordering coffee at 3 AM. Coffee is out of your system by tomorrow morning. You can make coffee as sweet as you want. Coffee smells and tastes good. You can turn the pot on, leave the room, and it’ll be hot when you get back. They have coffee at police stations. You can always ditch a bad cup of coffee. No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of coffee. A big cup or small cup? It doesn’t matter. You can have an intelligent conversation with coffee. Coffee is ready in 15 minutes or less. Coffee doesn’t take up half your bed. Coffee doesn’t mind if you wake up at 3 AM and decide to have a cup. INSTANT COFFEE!

Coffee Jokes

While traveling through Antigo, Wis. our family stopped in a local restaurant for a brief respite while driving. My father ordered 2 cups of coffee for he and my mother. My mother after tasting the coffee looked at my father and they each grimaced at each other. Looking around, my father noticed a sign above the back corner which said, “Don’t knock our coffee, you may be old and weak yourself sometime.”

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People ask me if I wake up grumpy in the morning……. I reply—-No, I just bring her some coffee !!!

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A man went to his psychiatrist and said, “Every time I drink my coffee, I get a stabbing pain in my right eye,” the psychiatrist said, “well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”

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I’m sure all coffee beans are juvenile. They’re always getting grounded!

Coffee Jokes

A lady came into the kitchen, sat down at the table, leaned forward, put her head in her hands and said to her husband “Honey, I feel terrible! My head hurts, my back’s killing me and my left breast just burns and burns.” He said “I’m gonna help you, Dear. I’ll get you some aspirins for the headache, I’ll rub your back with Myoflex for the backache, and if you’ll sit up and get your breast out of the coffee, it’ll stop burning!” (more…)

A young pet monkey had an accident and needed a brain transplant. The veterinarian told the monkey’s human family, “Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the cost yourselves.”

“Well, how much does a brain cost?” asked the family.

“For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000,” replied the vet. (more…)

Coffee Coffee

Spouse #1: Honey, this coffee tastes like dirt.
Spouse #2: That’s not surprising, dear, it was just ground this morning. (more…)