Fun at Coffee Table

French Kissing Advice & Techniques

French Kissing Advice

This is a guide to basic kissing, i.e. you learn the basics and get the basics right, then experiment and try different styles and more advanced techniques.

The basics

1. Brush your teeth, get a good bath, nicely groomed and clean and fresh, before meeting the other person. There’s nothing worse than kissing the rear end of a garbage truck

2. Get into a comfortable position – you can’t kiss if your back feels like it’s gonna break. Suggestion – Sit side by side on a comfy sofa.

3. Hold your lover , firmly but gently – don’t cause pain. Suggestion would be to hold the shoulders, the neck or gently on the side of the face, one side or both sides.

4. Move your faces closer. Don’t bump noses. Suggestion would be the guy angle his face slightly so you don’t bump noses.

5. Kiss gently, normal closed lips kissing, and close your eyes. Closing your eyes increases the sensations you feel, and also sets the mood.

6. Continue kissing gently. Get comfortable with simple closed lips, lip-to-lip kissing before going anywhere else.

7. If fine till here, tentatively, slowly and lightly draw your tongue across the other person’s lips.

8. Chances are from here, if the other person lightly parts her tongue, slowly explore the other person’s tongue in a light licking motion.

9. The tongue has a very sensitive surface, which is why tongue to tongue is the essence of french kissing.

10. After you’ve tried lightly licking the other person’s tongue, you can try sucking on it, wrestling with it ( see if you can hold it to the floor of her mouth ) and other things like that.

11. Explore the other areas of the mouth. Especially the roof of the mouth. Lightly lick, or tickle the area with your tongue.

12. Don’t bite. whatever you do, don’t bite.

13. Don’t swing your tongue round and round like a windmill. Explore lightly, don’t drill your way through.

14. Breathe through your nose. Breathe through your nose. I say again, breathe through your nose.

15. Follow so far? You can lightly use your hands too, lightly rubbing the other person. Suggestions, along the waist, along the back, the arms, especially the inside of the arm, the neck, maybe running your fingers through her hair. Again, don’t cause pain.

16. Continue kissing.

Singing Frog

A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says: “No way. I don’t think you can pay for it.”

The guy says, “You’re right. I don’t have any money, but if I show you something you haven’t seen before, will you give me a drink?”

The bartender says, “Only if what you show me ain’t risque.”

“Deal!” says the guy and reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of bar, down the bar, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the key board and starts playing Gershwin songs. And the hamster is really good.

The bartender says, “You’re right. I’ve never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano.” The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another.

“Money or another miracle else no drink”, says the bartender. The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog.

The guy says “It’s a deal.” He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar. The bartender says to the guy “Are you some kind of nut? You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy.”

“Not so”, says the guy. “The hamster is also a ventriloquist.”

SUCK AND BLOW

You have to take a card and pass it around the circle from person to person. The catch is you have to use your lips one person sucks the card to their lips and keeps it there until the next person of the opposite sex comes to suck it off and the other person blows it to them. So what you do is get next to someone you like and intentionally drop to card and lock lips with them.

Submitted by: Hank

SPIN THE BOTTLE

You put a soda bottle or a flashlight in the middle of a circle of people. One person spins the bottle (or flashlight in the dark) and when it stops spinning and points to someone of the opposite sex, they have to kiss.

Submitted by: Heather Webber

RED LIGHT, GREEN LIGHT

When my husband and I were dating we used to play this kissing game called “red light, green light”. We played the game while we were driving and this is how it worked. Whenever we came to a red light, it meant the car had to stop, but it meant our lips had to go, so we would smooch until the light changed at which point whoever noticed it got to say “green light”. Of course the real fun was noticing when it was a red light, and I must admit there were a few times neither one of us noticed the green. hmmmmmm, memories!

Submitted by: Carolynne Attaud

ANTICIPATION – THE WAITING GAME
Sit facing your partner. Look deeply into each others eyes and see who can hold out the longest. No touching of each other is allowed, but come hither stares and even licking of the lips is encouraged. At first you may only look, but as time passes one or the other may start to talk. Things like: “You know you want a kiss, so come get it,” or “Just give in, let go and kiss me.” The first one to break and go for a kiss “loses.” But is there such a thing as losing in this game?

Submitted by Frank Luke

SWEET IMAGINATION
Stand close but not so close that you can’t see your partner easily. Now, one at a time, *pretend* to kiss the other. Imagine giving your partner the hottest, sexiest kiss he or she can stand. The one who affects the other most “wins.” Note: As men are more visually oriented, women have a distinct advantage in this game.

Submitted by Frank Luke

WORDS
One partner sits behind the other and holds the second close. In this position, whisper sweetly exactly the way you want to be kissed. If the other other can do it, s/he gets a point. If not, you get the point. Then switch places. Keep this going until one of you is ahead of the other by two points.

Submitted by Frank Luke

HI BOB

Reruns of the Bob Newhart Show are still on the air. This game allows a couple to kiss every time they hear “Hi Bob” on the show. Anyone who watches or remembers the show knows that you hear “Hi Bob” quite frequently. It makes for an intimate 30 minutes.

Submitted by Mona C. Norton

LOVE BUG

If one of us spots a VW Beetle, we say, “LOVE BUG!” point out the car, and tell its color. Then we kiss each other (on the hand if we’re driving).

The game is particularly silly if one of us says, “Love Bug Ultraviolet” as an excuse to exchange smooches.

WARNING: This game has no definitive end! (Joe and I have kept it up for 5 months so far.)

VARIATION: One kiss for a “new” Beetle and two for an “old” one (or vice versa).

Submitted by: Colleen Klosterman

PUNCH BUG

My husband and I play a great game on long car trips that we made up when we started dating. The game is a variation on the old “punch bug” game, but it’s a lot less violent! It’s fun, and it’s a great way to help pass all that time in the car.

When we start out on our trip, we pick a color. Whenever a car of that color passes us, I give him a little peck on the cheek. (Vice versa if I’m driving.) We change colors whenever we stop at a restaurant or gas station. What a great reason to keep your eyes on the road!!!

Submitted by: Nicole Bradshaw

GOOD BYE GAME

Go to the airport or bus station. Actually, you could do it outside before you get in the car, but wouldn’t be as fun.

If you go to the airport, you find the first flight that is about to take off. You run to that gate and kiss your mate like you won’t see him/her for a long time. Then, when the flight takes off, you find the next flight that is leaving and run to that gate. You repeat this as long as you want.

Submitted by: Cindy Crisp

TOLL-KEEPER

A fun kissing game was the toll that was paid before entering or leaving the house.. depending on the time of day the toll-keeper could adjust the fines! (We alternated Odd/Even days one month and switched the next for who was the toll-keeper!) That way we always said good bye!

Submitted by: Candace K. Brister